This is the last Query I sent out, it wen’t to a friend of a friend type thing so i worry i may have made it a little too personal and not quite professional enough:

17/6/2010

Dear

 I’d like to thank you for taking the time to read this, I understand that your time is valuable. The manuscript I’m presenting you with is ‘Kemla’, the first novel in my young adult fantasy series set in a medieval-Celtic-type world.

 Who’s Kemla? I’ll let her explain:

“My name’s Kemla, I’m seventeen and that’s about all I own – my name and my past. The rest is hope and prayers and the idea of determination. It’s all good and well to want freedom but going out and achieving it is another matter all together. Freedom from fathers with heavy hands and short tempers, freedom from authorities with no boundaries – no limits to the damage they can do to you – freedom from magic entrapped silence, from hunters and now from slave traders.

All my hopes rest on a single slave trader, on Leon and his vein of compassion amongst the insanity I’ve landed myself in. I’ll blame myself because I can’t blame my little sisters, it’s not their fault they needed rescuing, I can’t blame my ma as she had no one else to send after my sisters – I can’t blame the traders either… blaming them could mean their deaths from my wayward magic and Leon won’t allow that. Magic – me! It’s almost a joke, only not the sort anyone wants to laugh at.

My worlds been turned on it’s head, not that it wasn’t a little skewed before.

Magic, beasts, treachery and treason and the worst new addition to my life – marriage! I guess in a way being captured by slave traders is a good thing. Now ma can’t hint at my coming of age, my need to be presentable and mingle with the townsfolk. People I don’t even know, men who could all have tempers. I don’t need a man, I need a plan – an escape – my freedom…”

And the ending to book one:

“… Fate quite possibly had a bigger hand in my life than I cared to admit. No sooner had I manage my escape – I was worried Leon wouldn’t pull through for me but in the end it was Leon who untied my ropes, Leon who shouted for me to run – and I found myself somewhere in the middle of a strange realm with bandits and Sara’s sons to worry about. It’s almost odd how I grouped an admiring guy in the same category as blood thirsty bandits but anyone taking an interest in me was in trouble – one way or another.

At least that was my first impression of him. He saw me – admittedly I’d been a mess since my slave capture – and grasped at his sword hilt. I reacted in the same way, a kitchen table between us but we were both willing to leap over it at the slightest sign of danger. How that turned into him picking me flowers and buying me presents I’ll never understand – but I’ll never let him go either.

So in the end ma was right – I’m not going to tell her that though and I haven’t agreed to anything starting with the letter ‘m’ yet. For now my sights are set on something else – settling scores with slave traders and finding Leon.”

 Settling scores with slave traders and finding Leon are matters covered in book two, in book one the heroin finds freedom, love and a sense of control over her life.

This series has been in the making for several years, over a decade, with the past two years being pure editing time. I’ve also roughed out books two and three in the ‘Kemla series’, right now they’re just waiting for book one to be finalised and I’m fully willing to tweak them all as yourself or an editor see’s fit.

I’ve yet to present any novel to a publisher though I have had some success with short story competitions, and I am passionate about literature with a degree in the subject.

Again I’d like to thank you for your time, I look forward to hearing your response.

Enjoy

 Sincerely

And when i didn’t get a reply i sent this little followup.

Dear

 My name is Cassy and I’m just following up on my Young Adult Fantasy Manuscript ‘Kemla’ that I sent through in June 2010. Please find the Query resumitted below incase cyber space disposed of my first contact Via …..

 Thank you for your time, and I hope to speak more with you soon about the project.

 The followup was sent on the 31st of the 8th, so almost a month ago, making it almost 3 months and no reply yet… but am i being too rash? I’ll post my Query editing too…

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